This song follows the life of a chemist who loves his periodic table probably more than his wife.
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Lyrics:
the periodic table’s a chemist’s best friend
he doesn’t sleep without it
at night he comes home to his wife and kids and explains
why carbon and oxygen are in the same row
but nobody seems to care
his life is a mess he feels so depressed
’til he’s reunited with his table
he knows the world is a crazy place
and he just wants some order
and what better way than to organize what we’re made of
by proton number
and how many valence electrons?
just look at what column it’s in
“why does life have to be so hard to me
why can’t it be as simple as this?”
the atomic mass is the sum of the mass of
the protons and the neutrons
the nucleus is small but it contains almost all of the mass
that’s significant enough to affect experiments
as you go to the right the electronegativity increases
and what’s coolest to me is ionization energy
rises as your finger rises
the chemist comes home and he sees a note
it turns out his wife has left him
a year passes by and he’s been as shy as a sample of astatine
but then he meets a girl she’s a chemist too
they’re bonding like fluorine and francium
he writes this is on a card and wins over her heart
and it’s all thanks to the periodic table [and we’re singin’!]
[more more ahhhhh’s with some baaaa’s]
